Fantasy Therapy: The Bear Edition
My partner and I have a tradition when a new season of The Bear comes out. We move the couch out of the way and set up an air mattress in the living room for what we’ve coined a Bear-athon. As we re-watched season 4 in preparation for the upcoming (final) season, it occurred to me that if some of these characters walked into my therapy office, that we could do some really good work together. And so the idea was born to write about it and maybe make a monthly musing about fictional characters who reflect personalities and themes I’m passionate about working with.
kind of like fantasy football, but I don't actually know how that works so maybe not.
My partner and I have a tradition when a new season of The Bear comes out. We move the couch out of the way and set up an air mattress in the living room for what we’ve coined a Bear-athon. As we re-watched season 4 in preparation for the upcoming (final) season, it occurred to me that if some of these characters walked into my therapy office, that we could do some really good work together. And so the idea was born to write about it and maybe make a monthly musing about fictional characters who reflect personalities and themes I’m passionate about working with. I used to write for a hobby and for work but I haven’t in years so as I put some oil on the gears, please forgive my rusty punctuation and creaky-sounding metaphors (<— exhibit A).
Look. The restaurant industry is fucked up and often full of big egos on power trips. I only did a small stint in that field (4 years, front of house at a high volume restaurant—yes, I’ve lived many lives and have had many jobs/careers) but I know a high pressure work environment when I see one. The show is imperfect at highlighting all of the massive flaws in the food world, but I personally feel it highlights some of the very real anxiety and interpersonal friction that is frequently palpable in that environment.
It’s pretty clear that the characters in The Bear could benefit from professional help. Thus, I present to you my top picks for characters I would love to do therapy with.
RICHIE
COUSIN! Jk it would be unethical for a therapist to work with their cousin (or family friend they grew up with that has no actual blood relation??)
PROFILE: rough around the edges but a strong desire to learn and deepen his emotional literacy for himself, his daughter, and his coworkers. In his own words, “this is a delicate fucking ecosystem.”
THEMES TO EXPLORE IN THERAPY: the balance between his self-awareness and his self-criticism, his anger (I LOVE WORKING WITH ANGER! It’s a healthy emotion that understandably gets demonized because while it CAN AND DOES cause harm, there are ways to express and feel it without collateral damage)
THERAPEUTIC TECHNIQUES THAT MIGHT BE HELPFUL: some relaxation techniques because omg he can fly off the handle, guided imagery, somatic experiencing for healthy aggression, here-and-now work and immediacy to help him see his impact on others as well as how his identities and privilege show up
SUGAR
She’d probably have me call her Natalie.
PROFILE: type A middle (?) sister who has to keep everything together for her family. About to lose her shit with all of the stress that she holds for herself and everyone around her.
THEMES TO EXPLORE IN THERAPY: “mommy issues”, grief, generational trauma and healing for the next generation, reparenting self, caretaker burnout/fatigue
THERAPEUTIC TECHNIQUES THAT MIGHT BE HELPFUL: intersectional feminist theory for naming power imbalances and gender dynamics, somatic exercises for LEANING INTO AND FULLY EXPERIENCING anger and sadness
SYD
I’d probably need some information about where she shops for clothes at the start of each session.
PROFILE: high achieving perfectionist who can hold her own but still keeps a lot bottled up and sometimes has a hard time asking for what she needs or making decisions
THEMES TO EXPLORE IN THERAPY: the impact of workplace gender and racial dynamics, grief of her mother’s death, anticipatory grief about her father, continued work on naming needs and setting boundaries for more work/life balance and getting the credit and payment that she deserves
THERAPEUTIC TECHNIQUES THAT MIGHT BE HELPFUL: letting her yap/vent because she seems to benefit from verbal processing but also slowing her down enough to be with her feelings and with her own body, somatic processing around grief and anger
MARCUS
I would watch an entire show revolving around Marcus. This is my official request for a spin-off. Everyone rightly loves Marcus, as evidenced by Natalie saying, “If you fuck with Marcus, I will murder you.”
PROFILE: the sweetest, most tender human being who deserves more spaces to feel heard. So, so passionate about his work and caring for the people around him
THEMES TO EXPLORE IN THERAPY: grief! Caretaker burnout, avoidance of his dad, leaning into things that bring him joy, work/life balance
THERAPEUTIC TECHNIQUES THAT MIGHT BE HELPFUL: creative techniques like use of art to explore emotions, guided imagery around grief and avoidance
HONORABLE MENTION: FAK
FUN FAKT: the actor is a professional chef in real life. Neil Fak has two cats, both named Ralph and I love when humor can naturally happen in sessions.
WHO I’D WANT AS A THERAPIST: TINA
Takes no shit and tells you hard truths, but also deeply caring and passionate about her work. Yes, Jeff.
Note: My long-time therapist has been a VITAL support to me. They are an incredibly caring and gentle human who has stitched up a lot of attachment wounds and I wouldn’t change our work for the world.